Anyone could really say “Long distance relationship suck.” Perhaps, they might say it won’t work at all. However, we disagree. Although it would take a lot of effort from both of us, we’re happy to say it does work.
After our almost 4-year long distance relationship, we finally met for the very first time in Laguindingan Airport (Cagayan de Oro, Philippines). And it was unforgettable.
It was our first personal glance with each other, strolled in the airport grounds with our hands locked. For long years of waiting, we’ve finally made it possible. Long distance relationships can indeed work.
Of course, it will require a lot of sacrifices in between to make everything possible. And that’s what I’m going to share with you today. But before I’ll go with the tips on how to survive this LDR thing, let me share a bit of our story of how we actually began.
How did our almost 4-year long distance relationship started?
Our relationship started in 2014, I guess it was a month after we chatted online. Yeah, I know it was faster than I thought. Others may take a year of courtship or at least 6 months before falling in love. However, it wasn’t our case.
Like any other long distance relationship (LDR) couples out there, we met on a dating site Fdating.com on February 10, 2014. It was a rainy morning in the Philippines and it was already midnight in Germany.
Personally, it was quite a romantic scene as it was a bit gloomy, rainy day when I talked with him for the very first time. I didn’t know how it was then for him.
It was also my rest day after finishing all the things I needed to do as a full-time high school teacher—completing the last quarter grade computation, submission of the school year lesson plans, etc. I really didn’t have anything to do that day.
Because it was too mundane, I thought of chatting someone online for a bit of fun. I didn’t expect something romantic. Somehow I felt like I have to avoid talking about it because of my past.
Then, I met this German guy. We started chatting around 6 in the morning and ended around 6 in the evening. It was insane. We talked about a lot of things without bothering the time we spent with each other. For him, it was the same. It was the first time he talked with someone that long.
From there, it continued until the next few months with a slow developing romance in between. Without wrapping my head with so much romance, he started talking about building our lives together. Until he proposed the next month.
Everything happened so fast we didn’t notice we’re starting subtle changes within ourselves and our surroundings. Our social circle, including our family, started questioning about our relationship and it was serious. Well, after chatting many people before, my parents slightly doubted this will work out.
Though we have built this strong bond through the years we spent for each other, there were still ups and downs in our relationships, which I believe is inevitable. Any relationship faces problems and certain issues together.
Nonacceptance, doubts, and other negative factors wrapped us, even forcing me to question the certainty of our long distance relationship. Yet, with his endearing and powerful words of wisdom, I managed to handle it. We both did.
I was about to quit and everything—career, life, stable income, family, friends—pressured me so much, but he never did. Instead, he told me to simply believe with our relationship. Finances and high levels of negative stress wrapped him as well.
Although the term “relationship collapse” was already applicable in our situation, we still didn’t give in. Anyway, we have each other to support our own endeavors. So, we were able to survive the most extreme emotional and physical stress for this.
Until the third quarter of 2017, he told me the time has come to make everything real between us. Like the way we feel almost four years back, we’re still in love. We still feel the same way as it was almost 4 years ago. In fact, we are currently preparing for our upcoming civil wedding ceremony in the Philippines.
We’re moving to the next level towards the next chapter of our lives as a married couple.
How to survive your long distance relationship?
By reading our simple love story, I knew you’d ask yourself,
“How could you manage to handle this type of romantic relationship with someone from the other side of the world?” or “Will this really work or this man/woman merely tries to scam me?”
It is normal to have these doubts in mind, especially scammers lurk out there online victimizing people. Yet, no matter how you avoid these types of people, you can’t. All you have to do is just to believe that someone out there is waiting for you… to meet and greet (later on).
To make your long distance relationship work, the two of you should believe this will work out or else it won’t.
Mark Manson from MarkManson.com wrote that he’s been on different sides of long distance relationships. He also failed many times. However, that didn’t stop him from meeting the woman he loves. And that’s when he tried the third time.
I tried chatting countless times before and with God’s blessing, it was my bae’s first try and he succeeded. He registered on the 8th of February, 2 days before we chatted, and texted with the first 3 women before he texted me. That’s it.
It was really different for me. I texted with different people many times before I found the right one.
Given these numbers of attempts, you really can’t say the exact time when you’ll meet the person you’re dreaming of. It’s about patience and a strong belief within yourself of what you’re searching for.
If you’re going to ask me if it’s worth it, yes it does. But then again, it’s up to you and your partner to share compromises and sacrifices to make everything possible.
Just a tip: To make long distance relationship work, the two of you as partners, should believe this will work or else it won’t. Swear.